Still working on getting back in the swing of things

370 - snow perched picture-perfect on branches and fences
371 - thick white blanket on the peak
372 - snow & leaves falling from the trees
373 - hugs and love from long-time-no-see friends
374 - crazy Bella-fini's sense of humor
375 - El's baby-doll love transfered to her friend
376 - gifts of hand-me-downs
377 - kindness from strangers b/c of the belly
378 - a steeple, the peak - both pointing to God
379 - knowing how to spell perisseuo
380 - mountain parallel to God - always there, not always visible
381 - CFA guy's concern for my safety
382 - unexpected calls midday from faraway friends
383 - winter bonnet cutie
384 - shower date set and settled peace-of-mind
385 - husband unexpectedly did chores = clean house
386 - freshly bathed pups so soft
387 - service project productive afterglow
388 - above and beyond help from strangers
389 - mostly-full dusk moon peaking from clouds
390 - eggnog latte + vanilla bean scone = perfect combo
391 - signing "more" when prompted
392 - "you look great" compliments from friends

Fall and grace

358. counting again
359. fiery sunlight filtering through red tree
360. contrast of clear blue sky with yellow & red fall leaves
361. chilly breezes on uncovered face
362. knee sock season
363. reading again
364. crunch of stroller wheels and weary feet through leaves
365. perfectly raked piles
366. baby initiated peek-a-boo's
367. singing songs together
368.  the grace of God
369. a much-needed hug

The end of summer

These are the things that made it onto my list but never got transferred online.  They're all over 3 mos old now, and should get us caught up to when I started listing again last week.

319. running in the downpour of rain
320. startled jumps at lightning & thunder strikes
321. sparkly toenails
322. feeling SO pregnant
323. making recipes I haven't made for a year
324. coming into a cool house after a hot walk
325. freshly groomed puppy-dog cuteness
326. days without B6!
327. lighthearted ribbing from hubs about my belly
328. realizing it's been a week since taking daily B6
329. time alone playing with baby
330. calm despite generally frustrating circumstances
331. all day aching reminder of changes within
332. no-leftovers dinner success
333. one third of the way to 1000 gifts!!
334. Josh off to go to OB appt w/me
335. 142 bpm! <3
336. relief from reflux, thank you zantac
337. rocks free of weeds looking neat
338. homemade Earl Grey latte yummy!
339. casual relaxing with friends
340. homemade mocha keurig love
341. interactive play : eyes, nose, lips, teeth, kisses
342. heart aching with a friend
343. dreams of loved ones far away
344. recounting the blessings
345. sharing struggles
346. home worth missing
347. technology that connects us
348. goodnight how-was-your-day phonecalls
350. being loved for my quirks
351. friends staying longer b/c they love us
352. showered with gifts and love
353. making new memories w/new friends
354. my new favorite nickname - preggopotamus
355. reunion with my own family
356. fulfilling healthy cravings
357. the first kicks shared with hubs

Confession

I'm sure you have already guessed it, but I stopped listing.  I got 1/3 of the way into my 1000 and I went to FL for a week and I would have had to write almost continuously to keep up with the flow of little and big things in my days there that whispered or shouted God's love to me.  And I came home and never got back into the swing of things.  At first I was listing in my head and just wasn't taking the time to write them down.  The farther I get from it, the more I forget to even list in my head.  And I was busy, and mistakenly accepted that as a valid excuse.  And I've been thinking lately about my perspective on life and how it has gradually been shifting back to a place of worry instead of trust, and realizing that my intention to pick the list back up - at first it was "tomorrow" and then "next week" or "once school starts" or the always vague "eventually - isn't good enough.  I NEED the list, to help me with perspective.  So I'm bringing my notebook back out and laying it open on the table right where I left off so that I can start counting again.  And hopefully see a change for the better in my heart.

busy weekends

We've been keeping pretty busy lately, so I haven't been making time to post my list, so here's a chunk:
245 - pants too tight to button

246 - Bella band comfortable
247 - sticker gift for grateful friend
248 - pictures posted and shared with loved ones
249 - French toast drowning in cinnamon sugar
250 - lazy day nap with snuggle pups
251 - laundry all done and put away
252 - spicy chicken biscuit
253 - white billowing piled-up clouds
254 - spots of sunshine on amazing Garden rocks
255 - car fixed for free
256 - nephew love even when he's unhappy
257 - lazy movie weekend with sweet hubs
258 - looking forward to anniversary #7
259 - whole week off productivity
260 - different kinds of poppies
261 - advice from friends
262 - 10 weeks!! That's 25% already.
263 - good news from a friend
264 - rising yellow moon on midnight blue sky
265 - numbers good medically, miraculously for a friend
266 - purple star flower mystery
267 - agile deer across our path
268 - sweet husband carrying my things
269 - servant husband keeping house while I'm out
270 - precious tickled baby laughs
271 - another friend parallel pregnant with me
272 - old friends, new friends, social time
273 - a day of complete relaxing
274 - friend-building breakfast
275 - new clothes shopping fun
276 - free lunch gift from sister
277 - tickle play with cutest nephew

278 - 11 weeks and only one week till next appt! :)
279 - summer warmth bares Peak's grey surface
280 - leisure lunch and a long walk
281 - long nap exercise time
282 - 5 yr old's desire to help
283 - a clean house
284 - quiet house
285 - 5 yr old gentle with dogs without being told
286 - new experiences and exploration
287 - happenstance Cherry Blossom Festival
288 - unexpected thoughtful gift from a friend
289 - third wheel to the movies
290 - breakfast at Mimi's with Mindy
291 - return of the nausea and peace with it
292 - doctor who takes time for my question
293 - offer to come in anytime I need reassurance
294 - celebration of friends and family at each milestone
295 - appointments scheduled - countdown begins
296 - happy baby entertaining strangers
297 - couch snuggling picture search
298 - turning 5 - such a big deal
299 - friendliness of strangers at playdate
300 - ease of only one child for the afternoon
301 - always helpful child
302 - free breakfast
303 - camaraderie with waitress over bellies and dates
304 - sense of accomplishment
305 - true fellowship over cheese and movie
306 - early morning quiet workout
307 - playful wrestling dogs
308 - birdsong in my backyard
309 - no peace to potty as sisters giggle in the hall
310 - post-nap happy-go-lucky
311 - morning so clear I can see Pikes Peak giftshop
312 - memories of family time on the mountain
313 - baby giggles at bunny ears and faces
314 - down to sleep without much fussing or fighting
315 - looking back to realize how many weeks I've come
316 - pride in my body - as it IS
317 - compliment from friend on my bump
318 - mother-love to daydream a shopping spree together

Catching up after zombie weeks

I've been so tired and icky feeling lately that I've been much less functional than usual.  But I have a week off of work and so I'm playing catch up with everything... emails, blogs, phone calls, etc.  That includes my list:

185. happy little red-headed bird
186. 12 miles with no physical harm
187. nephew songs caught on video

188. mobile baby happiness to move and play
189. one-on-one time with goodbye baby
190. beautiful running partner stops to smell flowers
191. dinner with employer turned friend
192. instant friendship with sister's friend
193. girls night out margarita fun
194. successful A/C install before summer heat
195. God's conviction right where I needed it
196. 4 day weekend - tons of couch time!
197. satisfying the Borriello Bros craving
198. fun new co-op game to bond over
199. high temp peace through spotting episode
200. only one week till ultrasound #2
201. making it to 8 wks!
202. clouds over the sun when I forgot sunglasses
203. running partner to get me out of bed
204. kindergartener playing quietly while baby naps
205. teaching tricycle skills to a quick learner
206. making plans for a girls weekend getaway
207. 2.5 hr nap to clean and craft
208. afternoon naptime quiet
209. beginning a new novel during a long warm bath
210. spastic cloud of birds overhead
211. coming home to A/C cool
212. dropping hubby off at work together morning
213. soy latte quiet time at Starbucks
214. comfy chair alone in corner
215. happy active baby
216. 2.5 hr growth spurt nap
217. quiet kindergartener cleans her room
218. seeing old friends
219. laughing with new friends till abs sore
220. perfectly wrapped present

221. road trip with friends
222. shared pizza for dinner
223. click click of enthusiastic photographer
224. amazingly scenic course
225. Ben & Jerry's end to the day
226. camaraderie with other racers
227. portapotties!!

228. running partner with heel clicking energy

229. starting to warm up and thaw out
230. counting camelbaks, vibrams, and 'beautiful's
231. hula aid station
232. finish line in sight
233. baby shirt for the gift in my womb

234. lunch after 13 miles
235. 3 hour time goal beaten
236. blessing of servant friend carrying and driving
237. home with hubby after weekend away
238. 12 hrs of sleep
239. not-shy-nephew greets electrician with hugs
240. time with sister relaxed and fun
241. ultrasound #2 heartbeat
242. friends as excited as me
243. finger poking through fence antagonizing dogs
244. perfectly ripe yellow banana

The Secret List

I've been keeping a separate list on a different page in my journal to add once the secret was out.  So here are the ones I've been keeping to myself:

158. friend who cares enough to still be stalking
159. bath turtle
160. peace about decisions and timing to test
161. secret seed of joy unshared and all mine
162. pink lines and pictures











163. sleepless night of prayer and submission
164. justified extras - food, sleep, lazy rest
165. early appointment - only 1 1/2 wks to wait
166. sharing with hubs
167. keeping the secret inside all day
168. each day spent with little gift
169. low temperature faith in God
170. high temperature hopeful days
171. passing milestone #1 : 5 weeks!
172. free conversation without concern of leaking secret
173. forgiveness for each outburst of crankiness
174. peace about prescription hold-up
175. Christian doctors and nurses
176. heartburn for the first time ever
177. Josh's leave for the ultrasound appt
178. nervous excitement and peace on ultrasound day
179. thought of not having to keep a secret anymore
180. blood results - hormone levels high - good news
181. blessed heartbeat too small to hear but visible
182. scheduled followup peace of mind
183. doctor's okay to run as planned
184. God's plan to remind me my hope is in HIM

Playing catch-up

115. easy day: one baby, two naps
116. maybe answers to baby health issues
117. change in energy after one dose of antibiotics
118. realization that the run was longer than I thought
119. accomplishment of packing boxes, clearing messes
120. tulip sunshine on a cloudy walk
121. half price decaf java chip lite goodness
122. in & out of Walmart in less than 10 minutes!
123. phone call from twin friend
124. 2 hr nap laundry marathon success
125. dready day out, cozy day in
126. Chick-fil-A pig out
127. going to bed together a little earlier
128. smiling, laughing interactive baby
129. soft new diapers
130. all the diapers ready in the drawer 2 by 2
131. just called to tell you something funny calls
132. clear polish shiny nails
133. dreams that make you laugh (brother pregnant belly)
134. lazy morning breakfast in bath
135. prospect of a day with the funnest 4 yr old at the zoo
136. forecast of sunny and mild after cold and rainy
137. evening of honest theological discussion and alien zombies
138. wet black tongue snatching lettuce from my hand
139. soft giraffe nose like a big dog
140. grizzly bears in the water
141. cotton candy and carousel ending to a zoo day
142. helping friends
143. cinnamon crunch goodness
144. perfect baby pink paint
145. friends who care enough to pry
146. relief from nausea enough to nap
147. phone chat for no reason
148. satisfaction of boxes filled to the top
149. home to rest when sick
150. movie expectations exceeded
151. nephew discovers remote control car
152. affordable A/C estimates
153. morning of reprieve from vicious stomach bug
154. husband who thinks of me along with himself
155. presence of all-loving Almighty in my most vulnerable moments
156. sharing good news with people who care
157. persistent birds trying to build a home on our milk box

tulip sunshine on a cloudy walk

Sick and Tired

The past week I was sick with a cold and even took a day off work to recuperate. As a result, I spent a lot of my week in a haze, and some days had to go back and add to the list for the previous day b/c I'd forgotten to write anything. But still managed to hit the 100 mark and then some; hooray!

85. Tylenol, Benadryl, Sudafed
86. job that lets me nap if needed
87. parents willing to pay sick days
88. Afrin to sleep at night
89. friendly customer service guy at checkout
90. fruity fro-yo for lunch
91. weather paradox - white peak and wearing shorts
92. purple blooming lilacs
93. invitation to hang out
94. bananocado success!
95. banana yogurt all gone
96. birds singing of summer's approach
97. waking up to the goodness of God
98. silly girl naming flowers on our walk
99. conversations with strangers over ice-cream treats
100. curly bark tree
101. breakfast and catching up on life
102. sharing new memories with dear friends
103. celebrating their eventual addition to the family
104. bumping into kindred heart at church
105. long conversation with half my family
106. puppies groomed and bathed so soft
107. chance to comfort the abused and pray
108. strength for the run
109. pink and white blossoms blow in the wind
110. peekaboo blossoms between fence planks
111. green trees on blue skies beautiful
112. sleepy snuggle kiss from loving nephew
113. aroma of lasagna fresh and hot
114. chaos of friends, our new family

curly bark tree

The perfect weekend

62. sunshine awake at 7:00am
63. forecast : rain/snow , reality : blue sky sunshine
64. productive morning, busy fun Saturday
65. uncharacteristic guilt-free shopping spree
66. trying new things
67. gyoza with perfect flavor and crunch
68. fro-yo in every delicious flavor
69. Starbucks date to grow a friendship
70. the most meaningful kind of compliment
71. luxury of sleeping in together
72. hot bath quiet time
73. nearly perfect weekend
74. lazy morning resting
75. beginning of the month balanced budget
76. delicious deviled eggs
77. blue sky sunshine snow paradox
78. sense of accomplishment after running
79. hub's muscular arms
80. fellowship fun with friends
81. hilarious fill-in-the-blank humor
82. climbing into cozy bed exhausted
83. stolen hat sideways

84. pictures from his perspective

A workweek of worship

I have to confess I've struggled with my attitude a little this week.  The weather was gloomy and moods were too.  But I've still found plenty to appreciate.  I've also noticed that I'm much more in touch with God's gifts outside. And I've uploaded some pics that I added to previous entries, so scroll down if you want to see them.

36. scrunchy-nose baby faces
37. "piano" playing
38. mid-day check-in phone calls
39. rain becomes snow
40. two bottom-toothy grins
41. leftover ham
42. berry season
43. one-on-one time
44. hello smiles first thing in the morning
45. successful meatLOAF (not crumble)
46. meatloaf sandwiches
47. baby sitting on her own - achievement!

48. tulips in every color all in one place
49. warm sun, cool breeze
50. blue richness at the top of the sky
51. baby snuggles during our walk
52. 70 degrees just days after snow
53. cloud shadows play on the mountains
54. appreciation wave for common courtesy
55. aroma of Starbucks fills the car
56. knotted roots like a tree skirt
57. yellow daffodils with orange cups at their prime
58. the fattest robin I've EVER seen
59. smiles from passersby
60. friendly neighbor and possibility of free flowers
61. sidewalk chalk brick path

62. a new favorite toy

Reflections on a Weekend

18. Easter morning, quiet and white
19. Starbucks soy latte after Lent's discipline
20. upcoming sermon series perfect for now
21. sleepy Sunday snuggle with man and dogs
22. the tongue out that always makes me chuckle
23. children joyful on the way to school
24. caramel light frapp
25. the nubbin wag
26. the harmony of rolling thunder
27. passionate sky-crying-with-my-heartache run
28. smell of rain and dirt
29. baking for friends
30. song from a friend that speaks Truth
31. remorse for not trusting His goodness
32. amazing white-Peak blue-sky commute
33. pink-, spring green-, white-blooming trees
34. approach to Union, Garden of Gods in view
35. a relaxing day with sweet husband

Easter Saturday

10. true understanding through shared experience
11. hello from horses
12. family of deer peaceful at our passing
13. ten mile accomplishment
14. thanks-for-cooking kisses
15. nephew in the stitch hat

16. snow on Easter Sunday

17. perfect metaphor for my life

The first gift

When we first moved to Colorado, I started a new blog to keep friends and family updated on the exciting changes in our lives.  In my mind I was going to post pictures of the new house, pictures of things we did to the house, and soon be making announcements about additions to our family.  God has not yet seen fit to bless us with children to add to the mix, and I've had to adjust my expectations.  I've also spent the past couple years dealing with the impact that two miscarriages have had on my relationship with Him.  And this week the next step in my journey arrived - a gift from a friend, a book called One Thousand Gifts.  In it, the author embarks on a dare to create a list of 1,000 things she's grateful for, and in the process learns God's goodness enough to trust him through tragedy and the stresses of life, learns to become a blessing to others, and learns communion with God in a whole new way.  She's human, and faces the same setbacks and distractions we all do, but refuses to quit counting the gifts he brings to her, day by day, moment by moment.

I have decided to follow her lead and begin my own list.  And for accountability, for my own processing, and hopefully for your encouragement I've decided to post my list here.  And hopefully I will find in my life - like hers - growth into the woman of grace I'm straining to become.  I won't expound here, but if you're curious about any of the items on my list, I'm not a private person, so feel free to ask.  And without further ado:

1. packages in the mail
2. the continuation of a theme
3. waking to play
4. baby hand reaching for palm kisses
5. running into the breeze
6. the difference a week makes
7. fragrant blossoms wafting
8. hidden beauty inside a tulip
9. berries and cream dessert

....

the difference a week makes

hidden beauty inside a tulip